🌸Dildo-Nosed Demons, Monkeys, and Shrines (AKA: Mount Takao)🌸

Ladies, gents, and other such creatures, today we take a look at Mount Takao. It stands apart from other mountains in that it has dildo-nosed demons, known as Tengu, glorious snow monkeys, and numerous shrines and gardens. Frankly, it is one of my favourite places in Japan, and it is absolutely gorgeous in the fall.

Mount Takao is located in Saitama, about a 40-60 minute drive/train from Tokyo. The easiest way to access the mountain is through Takaosanguchi station, on the Keio-Takao line, located conveniently at the base of the mountain. There are convenience shops nearby, so I wouldn’t worry about stocking up on provisions. There are plentiful snack booths, souvenir shops, and washrooms along the way. Though be warned, it can be quite crowded during the weekends during the fall period. That being said, the further up you go the crowds tend to disperse a bit.

There are several trails to choose from. Most people take trail #1, which is more or less a straightforward path to the summit of the mountain. You can reach the summit in about 90 minutes if you keep a constant pace, maybe 120 minutes if you take the odd break here and there (and really you should, the place is beautiful and worth your time). The beginning is pretty steep, but don’t be discouraged, after about 30-40 minutes the elevation levels out for a very pleasant hike. However, along the way many other trails intersect and you can easily spend an extra few hours exploring the mountain. There are many different shrines hidden along the mountain, gardens and gazebos for some relaxation and contemplation, as well as simple, lush natural beauty covering every square cm of this gorgeous place.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, he promised us monkeys. SNOW MONKEYS! Worry not, nature’s little agents of chaos are here. There’s a little enclosure halfway up the mountain where you can see these little dudes. It’s about ¥400 for adults. You can go in and have a look at them, and I THINK you can also buy food to feed them, but I don’t rightfully recall. If Japanese people in uniform start talking to you in a stern tone, then you might not be allowed to feed them – play it by ear. Credit must go to the following blogger (http://crystaltjapan.tripod.com/letsgototokyo/id25.html) for the photos, alas I didn’t actually go to the enclosure this time by way of democracy via my monkey unappreciative friends(?).

Also, Yakuo-in temple is definitely worth visiting. It is a historic temple more than halfway up the mountain. It was established in 744 and later restored in the 14th century. It was considered a holy site, and many people would make pilgrimages to the temple for enlightenment. Tengu statues stand guard around the temple looking menacing. The Tengu are servants of the gods, often depicted holding uchiwa (Japanese fan) which they use to sweep away misfortune and bring good fortune. They are guardians of the mountain, looking to help the good and chastise the evil. Also, they have dong-like noses, just saying.

Last, but surely not least, there is the summit. It’s a wide resting area with benches, gazebos and a restaurant. There’s even a little bit of a park branching off to the side if you feel like turning a few idle pages or just sitting down to enjoy the presence of the mountain. The view from above is quite lovely, you can see distant mountain ranges in Saitama which make for a scenic peisage. Also if you linger ’till dark you can see the local towns lit up beneath the mountains.

Anywho, that is my tale of dildos, monkeys and beauty. If you are in Japan I strongly recommend you check it out. This is by far one of the best experiences you can have in a day.

🌸Climbing Mount Fuji or The Insufferable Trials of Three Mortals🌸

T’was the season for masochism, my dear gents, ladies, and other such creatures. T’was the season for atonement. The credit of all my youthful transgressions finally reached its limit and demanded payment. Carelessly leaving the seat down, blissfully j-walking, not offering my seat to the pregnant, one-legged, old lady on the train. Alas, my sins caught up with me. And lo, the gods decided it was time to get their pound of flesh.

And so Zeus said onto Hypnos, “Make his dreams swirl around the distant peaks of  Fuji. May he perilously yearn for its cloudy heights.”

And so Hypnos said onto Zeus, “How binding should I weave these dreams.”

And so Zeus said onto Hypnos, “I ‘unno, enough?”

And so the spiteful Hera added her 2 cents, for she was bored “Oh, make him do it in one day. Like make him think it’s actually a good idea. And have him go down on the same day, too,” she added thoughtfully, twirling her hair.

It was then that Boreas and Zephyr, Zeus’ sons, stopped playing Xbox and joined in, “We could throw some harsh wind his way,” Said Zephyr.

“Real harsh shit,” added Boreas.

“And rain,” concluded Zeus, “shit is always more dope with rain.”

And so with the divine tides against us, my two friends and I made our way to Mount Fuji.

We spent the first night at a hostel in the city of Fuji. I will drop its name here, for it’s well worth a recommendation. This cozy little nook goes by the name of NASUBI, Mt. Fuji Backpackers. It is conveniently close to Fuji station, a mere 9 minutes, and 15 minutes from Shin-Fuji station. You can get a shuttle bus that will take you to the base of Fuji from either of those stations. The hostel itself is clean and cozy, and as spacious as you can get in Japan. The host was absolutely the best part of it. He seemed to have either discovered the secret to happiness, or he was permanently stoned. Then again, maybe those two intersect. But seeing him roll the perfect cigarette on the porch one evening, I am inclined to place my faith in the latter. He spoke good enough english to answer just about any questions we had about acquiring gear and the how-to’s of climbing Fuji. Also, he just gave us some free rain jackets right before we left, because peace and love, why not?

Also, to further esteem this hostel in my views, there was an N64 set up in the common room with just about every Mario World classic you can hope for. Nothing bonds world-wary travelers like breaking language barriers through competition in the age-old past time of gaming. Until of course, every language boils down to its most essential word, in our case being “fuck,” in the case of our two newly found French friends “putain,” and our one Israeli friend “ha-matzav-khara.” Ahh, Mario World, destroyer of friendships.

So the next day we headed towards  Kawaguchiko station, roughly an hour and a half away from Fuji city. On our way, we made a slight detour at Shiraito falls, which we were told were quite beautiful, which toats were.

After that pleasant detour, we were filled with the beauty of the Shiraito falls and we eagerly awaited grander beauty and sights on the distant Fuji. How naive, how very young we were.

We took the bus from Kawaguchiko station to the 5th station on Mount Fuji, which is where most people will start their hike. If you have need of equipment, worry not, there is an equipment renting shop right across Kawaguchiko station (which opens at 1PM). For the most part, you need warm clothes, a head-light, and a rain & wind jacket. During the summer season, you can have a 30°C temperature at the base, and 5°C at the summit. So make sure you bring warm clothes. Also, I strongly, STRONGLY suggest that you stock up on snacks and food at a convi store before you head towards Fuji. Everything is exceedingly expensive along the Yoshida trail. A bottle of water will cost you 600 Yen, when it’s a mere 100 Yen at a convenience store (around $7 dollars and a $1.50 respectively, to the non-Yen savvy). Even cup noodles are sold for 600 Yen a piece along the resting huts, demonic amusement dancing in the eyes of the vendors. Then again it could have been the lack of oxygen and exhaustion, who knows?

As a person who is in average shape, or maybe just slightly above, I found the climb towards the summit to be one of considerable difficulty. The trek to the Seventh station wasn’t bad. It’s a bit steep, but you start getting used to the elevation bit by bit, and frankly, the surroundings are quite beautiful. There’s still plants and lush greenery along the path, and with the mist that was clinging to the mountain that day, it was quite the sight.

So, first things first. Most people want to climb the summit in time for the sunrise. In order to do that, you have start your climb at around 10 PM (from the 7th station). If you have more money to spend, you can start at the 8th, 9th, or 10th station, each becoming more expensive respectively. We paid around 8000 Yen (~$90) each for our stay at the 7th station, and our accommodations made dodgy hostels look like palaces. Imagine a large living room, lined with 2 levels of beds along the walls. They fit about 200 people, so you are crammed like sardines to the point where you can barely turn in your own little space. You can’t really get any sleep as people are constantly coming and going, so  it’s more of a resting spot before the big hike. I understand that this is a big tourist attraction, a world wonder and such, but paying 8000 Yen for that kind of experience definitely left a sour taste in my mouth. All the more because Mount Fuji is a world heritage site, and therefore, supposedly has international sponsorship.

So after our fretful rest, we packed our bags and started on our merry way. Past the 7th station, the scenery became more rocky and volcanic. The elevation was steep, and it definitely pays to stop and catch your breath every 15 minutes or so. There’s always people in front of you and behind you, which normally I’d dislike in any other situation, but having people there with you really helps. I could easily have seen myself giving up if it had only been me and my mates, but when there’s this constant stream of people going through the exact same thing as you are, it really drives you to keep going. There’s definitely a group effort/mentality aspect to the climb. You see that they too get tired, they too stop for a break, and they too choose to persevere. You exchange smiles along the way, in on a joke that you’re all sharing, and you trek ahead as comrades.

I hope you’ll forgive my lack of photographs here. Since it was pitch dark, full with mist, and I had no tripod. So, I was unable to take any good photographs during the evening part of the climb. So words will have to serve where pictures fail. By midnight, we were above the clouds. You can’t really see anything in the distance because it’s too dark. However, the stars are all AROUND you. Not above, but around. You feel like you’re in the center of a great dome of stars. They are really clear in the night sky, with no light pollution, and you feel like you are right next to them. The sight renders the meaning from the word “beauty”. And always behind you and in front of you, you can see little dots bobbing up and down, the other climbers tracing serpentine patterns in the mountain with their head-lights. And they grow more numerous and frequent as the climb goes on, until they reach the edges of your vision.

A little bit before the top we reached a pair of Tori gates. From a distance I thought they were covered in frost, but up close it turned out that people had wedged coins inside the pillars themselves for good fortune, as far as I can guess.

Good luck Tori gate on Mount Fuji
Good luck Tori gate on Mount Fuji

The last one hour of the climb was probably the hardest and steepest. At parts you have to use your hands to navigate and balance yourself across difficult paths in the rock. Also, a pinkish glow had started to set on the horizon, a timer reminding us that the sun was hot on our tail and we needed to pick up the pace if we were to greet it at the top. Goverment employees were stationed every 100 meters or so to make sure everyone was OK and to give encouragement to the climbers, egging them on to try just a little bit more.

At around 4:45 AM we reached the top. We were greeted by a fierce wind and fierce cold to boot. Zephyr and Boreas probably taking the piss. However, even their godly douchery couldn’t subtract too much from the beauty that eventually greeted us.

And they lived happily ever after? “Hahhahahaha, NO!” said Zeus as he chuckled like a child burning ants, which resembled humans on top of an anthill which strongly resembled a mountain. As the sun rose, the temperatures started climbing again. And as the clouds are now below you as opposed above, you get cooked something fierce. To add insult to injury, Hephaestus seemed to have joined in on the mortals roast, because the path back from the summit could only have been carved by a sadistic Greek deity. A serpentine path is carved into the volcanic rock all the way back down to the 5th station, at a very aggressive dissenting slope, made up of nothing but medium-sized rocks and sand. That’s IT. There is no reprieve, no flat paths for your aching joints to recover, just 5-6 hours of a constant decline over the most uncomfortable, and eventually painful, terrain you can imagine. It no longer becomes an issue of stamina or muscle strength, but just a sheer, relentless battering of your joints and feet. Again, I feel very fortunate to have experienced Fuji’s beauty, but for a site that is so famous and so well-funded, that was simply unacceptable. I can only imagine that the person responsible for planning the dissenting path strongly hated all things with feet, and was in a hurry to get to the sake bar before it closes. So he carved the most senseless and uncomfortable path in the rock and then ran away laughing maniacally, knowing he contributed to the maiming of millions of feet for the centuries to come.

We drove back on the same day, half awake in our car, hopefully eyeing the desolate roads for a welcoming “Ramen” sign where we could hopefully recovery some of our sapped strength. All in all, it was a great experience, if not an altogether pleasant one. I have read my fair share of Fuji articles by now, and I felt compelled to give my account as a great many of the other ones out there are definitely written with rose-tinted glasses. But you have the good, the bad, and the ugly, and in the end, it’s all one big experience.

Hope this was helpful!

And so, Zeus having tortured the poor mortals to the full extent of his amusement returned to his daily life, which mostly consisted of stroking his epic beard, hurling the odd lightning bolt, and trying to impregnate mortals under every which guise in existence. And all was well.

🌸Nokogiri Yama🌸

Ladies, gents, and other such creatures, it would appear that I have at last succumbed to the temptations of lifestyle blogging – or at least a combination of late movie releases and pretty cool shit happening in my life have made me do so. Journeymen, beware! Turn back now, before you fall victim to the self aggrandizing babbles and cute Snow Monkey pictures (coming soon™️).
So aside from doing movie-related reviews, I’ve decided to do a bit of J-blogging. My sassy Canadian ass has recently settled into the land of robots, panties vending machines, and real-life Pikachus. Ah, Japan. Land of all things kawaii and absurdly weird. It’s any lifestyle blogger’s wet dream come true. Japanese culture being so distinct, weird, admirable, deplorable, fun, quirky, strange, and everything else under the sun, really. It’s the land of 1001 contradictions. I hope during my stay here I can discover quite a few of them, and I look forward to sharing them with you 🙂

Today’s segment is going to be focused on Nokogiri Yama! The biggest, and hands down the most famous mountain in my currently native, Chiba!

If you’re looking for some outdoorsy stuff to do, and I always am, Nokogiri Yama is a good place to go. Nokogiri Yama is located in southern Chiba, on the East side of Tokyo bay. (Map link at the end of the article.)

Nokogiri Yama, which more or less translates into Wood Saw Mountain got its name by its jagged appearance. Some parts of the mountain were/are being used as stone quarries, and thus give it quite the jagged look.

Despite its name, the mountain is actually quite lovely. It’s 329.5 meters at the summit, making it a great hike. On foot and at a steady pace, it takes about two and a half to three hours to reach the summit depending on what shape you’re in. The paths teem with lush greenery, thick gorgeous forests, and all sorts of shy but curious wild life. Alas, no monkeys yet, but a Tanooki did deign to show itself, though sadly my camera reflexes were not at ninja par yet.

Nokogiri-Yama Carved Rocks

For those of you wary of physical endeavours that distinguish themselves from a tumbling trip between the couch and the fridge, worry not, you’ve been thought of! If you want to explore the lovely mountain but not fill buckets of sweat, you can grab the lift at the base of the mountain which will take you about 80% to the summit. It’s only Â¥500 and you will get quite the view in a three minute ride.

Nokogiri Yama Lift
Lazy people rejoice!

The summit is well worth the effort, as you have a clear overview of the quaint little Kanaya town at the base of the mountain, as well as Tokyo bay. On a clear day you can see Yokosuka across the water.

Now, besides the bragging rights that you will take home from your grueling nine-hour trek (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), and the gorgeous view shown above, there is also another wow-factor to this cool little place. There is also a huge Buddha carving in the rock, as well as what I was told is the world’s 23rd biggest stone statue, I believe finished in 1783. It claims a height of 31.05 meters.

And, if you’re not sold yet, here are some images of the beauty I found while I was there:

Now, lastly, but possibly most importantly. For all you fat-at-heart people like me, the noble House of Gonzo must be mentioned. Believe I when I say, after a five to six hour trek, you are going to be one hungry creature. About a ten to fifteen minute walk from the start of the mountain, is an absolutely must-visit pizzeria called Pizza Gonzo. It is run by this hipstery-looking couple, or siblings, or both if you are into GoT. They are really chill and pleasant, especially if you have a bit of Japanese to spare for banter. To be honest, thus far I haven’t been too impressed with the Japanese take on pizza, so I wasn’t too excited when I first walked through its doors. But in retrospect, as hungry as I was, taste wasn’t really a factor. Well, let me tell you, this is hands down the best pizza I’ve eaten in quite some time, and definitely the best pizza I’ve had in Japan. It’s authentic, Italian-style thin-crust pizza. They have a great selection of pizzas, and each of them distinctly delicious. By the end of your trek, you will feel like an absolute nature-hardened savage, and let me tell you, when the smell of baking dough, olive oil, cheese, and any other little bit of deliciousness wafts your way, you will be grateful you took the time to read this one last paragraph.

Anywho, that is my first spiel on things Japanese and such. Please let me know if you found it interesting and/or if you would like to see more. I’m also open to suggestions as to what I should cover next. And if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment below 🙂

Google Maps link to Nokogiri Yama:
https://www.google.ca/maps/place/Mount+Nokogiri/@35.1946655,139.6508739,10.25z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x60181b26e686b0ef:0xc258c596637b9320!8m2!3d35.160391!4d139.8408694

Google Maps Link to Gonzo’s Pizza:
https://www.google.ca/maps/place/%E3%83%94%E3%83%83%E3%83%84%E3%82%A1%E3%82%B4%E3%83%B3%E3%82%BE%E3%83%BC/@35.1665556,139.8221044,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x60181aefe3efb969:0x8a28e937c40e2acb!8m2!3d35.1665512!4d139.8242931